Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Motorola Salesman: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Motorola Salesman: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different
prices
up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Motorola Salesman: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Motorola Salesman: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Motorola Salesman: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Motorola Salesman: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks.
But
you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and
continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding!
Motorola Salesman: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Motorola Salesman: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell
only a
certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the
price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any more $12 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Motorola Salesman: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a
day,
and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint
yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as
soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have enough.
Motorola Salesman: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't
use it,
there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already
have.
Customer: WHAT?
Motorola Salesman: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall
and
north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you
will lose your remaining gallons of paint.
Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already
paid you for it!
Motorola Salesman: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used,
every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I
don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Motorola Salesman: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the
$200
paint.
Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a liter"
signs?
Motorola Salesman: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in
half-gallons.
One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second half-gallon to
complete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty
and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.
Customer: Forget this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Motorola Salesman: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your
bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from someone
else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall and
stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that if you
paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.
Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Motorola Salesman: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which you
started. A hallway is different.
Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one
direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.
Motorola Salesman: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on
your
next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now, sir.
Customer: You're insane!
Motorola Salesman: Thanks for painting with Motorola.
